James Spader is an American actor and producer famous for playing the role of criminal mastermind Raymond ‘Red’ Reddington in the crime drama The Blacklist. Spader launched his career in the late 1970s, and made a name for himself portraying iconic characters in films such as Stargate, Crash, and Sex, Lies, and Videotape.

Spader won three Emmy Awards for playing attorney Alan Shore in Boston Legal. He went on to play Robert California in The Office before landing his role in The Blacklist. Spader’s portrayal of Raymond has earned him two Golden Globe nominations. This piece will look at Spader’s secretive dating life.

He has been dating sculptor Leslie Stefanson since 2002

Leslie Stefanson and James Spader
Albert L. Ortega/Getty Images

Leslie and James met and started dating in 2002. In 2008, the couple welcomed their first child, a boy called Nathaneal. Spader and Leslie have been dating for 18 years now, and they have managed to keep the details of their relationship secret. It’s in part because Leslie gave up acting and took up sculpting.

James rarely addresses his dating life in interviews, but in an interview with Playboy in 2014, he revealed how he keeps his bond with Leslie strong. He said:

“If people put their lives in the public eye a lot, people feel as if they’ve gotten to know them through the media. I try not to open the door to my life in a public way… ‘Be of love a little more careful than everything,’ wrote E.E. Cummings. Pay attention. Take great care, especially in things that are taken for granted.”

He has two sons with his ex-wife Victoria Kheel

James and Victoria Kheel met while they were living in New York, and dated for 11 years before getting married in 1987. The couple had 2 sons during the duration of their relationship: Sebastian and Elijah. Spader and Victoria finalized their divorce in 2004, and according to Spader, his work came between the couple’s relationship.

Spader told Rolling Stone that he doesn’t plan on having more children: “I believe in a negative population growth. The other two were with another mother, so we have three boys that will replace all three of us.”